Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important e-mails in 2004! It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! Because of all of you I stopped drinking canned drinks after I found out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains. I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer. I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me. I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a high phone bill with calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover. However, the police are also after me at present because you said not to pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me. I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the 15, 000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail programme. It's weird, though, that my new free mobile phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid holiday to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse.
OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't cut and paste this thread and send it as an e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will crap on you tonight at 7:00 PM. |
