Q.
What's the definition of eternity? A.
The length of time between when YOU come and SHE leaves. Q. What do a c******s, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? A. Men usually miss them. Q. What's the difference between husbands and prisoners? A.
Prisoners complain behind bars. Husbands complain in them. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Did'ja know that it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine in Florida? Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. If a bi-sexual were to turn up missing...
Would they put his picture on a carton of Half & Half? I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy. Environmentalists changed the word "jungle" to "rain forest, " because no one would give them money to save a jungle. I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once. I'm not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. "Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger." - David Letterman I choose toilet paper...
through a process of elimination. |
